Also my mom is in rehab right now and you’d think that would keep me from starting to make poor life decisions but for some reason all i wanna do lately is drink. I don’t know how else to run away and be happy for a minute.
I still find myself fighting horrible thoughts every day. I feel twice as alone in it now because people think I’m better, I’m happy, I’ve changed. I couldn’t just change I guess. I know it’s a problem and I’m trying to keep it under control, but i think i need help and now it is only harder to bring it up and talk about it.
In a 2006 interview he described his experience with alcoholism, the emptiness inside, his inability to self forgive and to love himself.(via panatmansam)